All Middle School Teachers Must Be Suicidal
Elyse just called. Her English project is to describe how to make something. She chose Oreo blizzards. She has to take all the ingredients to school. That would be oreos and ice cream. "But you need a blender." "Not for the way I make it at camp." "But where will you put the ice cream." "They have freezers in the lunch room." "We'll talk about this when I get home."
Now my grown-up mind works this way. Why in the name of all that is non-perishable and holy would a middle school English teacher want her 6th grade students to bring ice cream to school? And if Elyse is bringing ice cream, dear God, what are the other kids bringing??? I can just imagine... Johnny demonstrates how to make crystal meth... Susie explains how mommy mixes her thrice nightly double Bourbon... (Oh yeah, Elyse could have done that one.)
What is wrong with the modern education system???
posted by livingwilde @ 1:46 PM
2 Comments:
Am I the only one who remember when the Huntsville times put the recipe for crystal meth on the front page of the paper? It's been a few years ago, I think I was still in high school!
When I read this I had a very vivid memory of one time I had an assignment like this and I had bugged my mom about it for hours on end, freaking out because at that time I didn't you know you could teach someone how to be sexy, so I didn't know what to do. Anyway, I had been asking her about it like every five minutes for a good two or three hours and she said to me "You ask me that again and you can show them how to make Mommy drink."
I had to write down all of the steps for making a PB&J sandwich... And then my friend Margaret had to follow my instructions, absolutely, and critique them.
I got EVERY little detailed instruction right, except for the critical one: I forgot to tell her PICK UP the sandwich before she took a bite of it. So there she was, face down into the plate, eating the sandwich like a pig.
I was SO MAD at her for making a mockery of my PB&J instructions.
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